Up Yours – If there’s one thing I sadly hear about it’s guys putting things up their ass that they shouldn’t be. There are obviously toys designed for such a purpose, but many are afraid to use them or own them for fear of anyone finding them. So they use candles, cucumbers, apples, carrots. The shame many guys feel at desiring anal stimulation is very common because of the prostate so many men find pleasurable to have stimulated.
Anal Explorations – Men as a rule seem more curious about ass play than women, I just don’t hear about them doing the same sorts of things men do. People end up in the hospital every day seeking medical attention for sex play gone awry. I recall a story I read online about a preacher that had to seek medical attention because he had a potato stuck up his backside. When he went to the ER to get help the doctor asked what he had a potato lodged up there, to which he replied he’d been hanging curtains in the nude and fell backwards onto the kitchen table where some potatoes were sitting that hadn’t yet been put away.
Backdoor Stimulation – Now if anyone would believe that outlandish tale, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you…The fact is many guys fear liking something up their ass which usually stimulates the prostate which is supposed to give similar sensations to the lady’s G spot, many think it makes them gay and they are uncomfortable with this notion, so they keep it quiet from their partners and don’t share these things. It’s usually easier to keep quiet than deal with unwanted embarrassment.
“Thou shalt not put instrument of the devil (phone) to thy ear whilst manipulating thy genitals for lascivious purposes.” – Sharon Somers
You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me – Now it goes without saying I’m an atheist, I have little use for ones living their lives by a book of fairy tales and imaginary sky fathers, it’s quite laughable to me and I’ve seen the lives and families torn asunder by religion. I’ve often thought that animals in a great many ways have more sense than people. They don’t get down on their knees and pray to an imaginary being, they don’t feel guilty for mating, it’s just part of them, part of their instinct, they just do it and get on with life. Yet they interact with each other, have a pecking order, they get along fine without a lot of the nonsense that people seem to need to incorporate into their lives.
Get Your Heads Examined – If one can look at the above picture and not get just how absurd some of us people are, I don’t know what to tell you. That some parents terrify their children into thinking they will go insane or blind from touching their own bodies, well not so much now, but in the past, less than 100 years ago. And even now in today’s world, female genital mutilation is continuing on in many cultures because they wish to dissuade their daughters from lustful, dirty thoughts, fantasies and actions. Cut off their clit, problem solved, she has no sexual pleasure, so she will remain chaste. Sickening.
Religion Is A Societal Control Device – I have had guys I chat with tell me they feel guilty for masturbating, that they feel it’s sinful. I ask them if they feel guilty if they are tired or hungry or thirsty, of course not they reply, so why feel guilty if you are horny? It’s just as natural to be horny as tired, or hungry, or thirsty, they are all biological drives. It’s sad how so many have been brainwashed by religion. I recall a Mormon I talked to, he and the lady he married had never had sex or even spoken of it before they wed, and he learned after she didn’t like sex, and he was told she’d never, ever be doing oral, and she made him feel dirty and guilty when she caught him watching porn and masturbating, yet she wouldn’t do anything to help him. I just shook my head and told him to get out before they had kids, but of course he wouldn’t shame his family with a divorce. It’s so sad to live in a self made prison. Let yourself out and let yourself be free. Masturbate and have sex and enjoy it. Don’t live by a repressive thought process bought into by the weak minded.
What’s Love Got To Do With It – This week is Valentine’s Day yet again, the bane of existence for single people that have no one to hold, kiss, fuck or love them…For ones lucky enough to have someone though, be grateful. Every kiss, every hug, every touch or caress, be grateful for it. It can be taken away in a heartbeat. Their feelings can turn on a dime, and you’ll be left alone and crying and wanting.
Unbreak My Heart – Many of us don’t need to worry though, the unloved masses that find their way to naughty sites like this at the end of their rope of loneliness. Those who can only hope of finding someone to masturbate with online, via the phone, cyber or cam, that’s as good as some of us will be getting, so we’d best make the most of it. Then there are ones who technically have someone, but that partner has closed them off sexually and locked the door, so they are as alone as the rest of us.
Love Stinks – Christ, this isn’t a very happy column this week, is it…There is solace to be found, however temporary on the phone, cyber or cam, that is if you can find a partner that won’t hang up, sign off etc. on you when they cum leaving you hanging, selfish bitches and bastards though they are. If you jump in and have fun with someone too soon, this is the sort of behavior that can result. They are selfish and you are nothing but a masturbatory accessory to them to be taken out at their whim, nothing more. For some the only time they feel loved is during such an online encounter , no matter how brief or artificial, it’s the closest they will come to any sort of intimacy or affection from a person of the opposite sex. Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.
You’re Not Going To Believe This – An unfortunate thing that can happen during sex has nothing to do with feeling good. It’s a sexual mishap, and people are sent to the emergency room every single day with sex gone awry. From solo masturbation incidents like in the American Pie movie where the lead mistook a tube of glue for lube, to fractured penises when a partner has come down too hard and not aligned properly.
Sexual Misadventures – People can fall out of bed hitting their head, dislocating shoulders, breaking wrists, all kinds of things from over enthusiastic play. I fell once myself during phone sex and was sore for weeks and lucky I didn’t break my wrist. My partner had wanted panties mailed to him and after I came I stood up to wipe the panties on my wet pussy and it was dark, I lost my footing and went over between the bed and the dresser and onto a box. The phone went out of my hand, I was bruised for over 3 weeks and my wrist was sore and I’m lucky it didn’t break.
Get Well Soon – Many people end up in the ER after sticking things where they shouldn’t. Please use toys that were designed for there, not vegetable, not candles, not Barbie dolls. One of the funniest cases I read about was a preacher that had to go to the ER with a potato up his ass he couldn’t get out. He came up with an insane story about hanging curtains in the nude up on a ladder and falling back onto the kitchen table onto a pile of potatoes. Um, yeah, that happened! The humiliation of going for medical help due to your own stupidity should be reason enough to not do such things, but horniness tends to make the head not work at full capacity.
Colder Than A Witch’s Tit – With much of North America in a deep freeze of unprecedented proportions, there’s one sure thing we can do to warm up, and that’s have sex or masturbate! Cam sex, cyber sex and phone sex are all guaranteed to raise your temperature and make you forget the blizzard like conditions that are persisting outside with the Polar Vortex we have all been experiencing. It might be colder outside than we can tolerate, but we will keep ourselves toasty warm inside as we crank up the heat and rub our naughty bits.
Freezing Your Nuts Off – Masturbation is good any time of year, but can be a bit uncomfortable during the sticky months of summer, even with air conditioning. Cuddling with your honey, if you’re lucky enough to have one, will make you feel all warm and fuzzy for sure, as well as all sexy! Get some circulation back in those balls of yours by rubbing them as you talk to your online fun partner, or maybe even show her on cam. Trust me, the cold weather outside will be the last thing on your mind once you start stroking your cock for her and showing her what you’ve got.
Winter Warm Up – One thing many men enjoy about the ladies in cold weather is of course their visibly hardened nipples. Cold does have some advantages after all! Masturbation alone is good for sure, but with a partner you can find online, it’s even more arousing to share that orgasm with someone that you find equally arousing and sexy. No need for winter to get you down, hit the chat rooms or inbox people, or post in the forums to find some online fun partners today!
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