today
i sleep inside my lair or prison and stare out the window
into the night
alone at last i hide inside...
deep cargo nets i trawl my seas ,
the pain is shifted pushing me deeper with the tide i roll and save ,
my mind itself it feels concave .
.i stop and pause a moment again to stare
and rejoice within its redeeming glare ,
the lights are coming guiding me home ,
the sounds of engines throttled forward ,
another rip torn in my soul
another chest another chasm that i have owned..
deeper down my trip begins ,
into the tree trunk , deeper skinned
eating away at the flesh inside ,
and natures cause it fills my mind
the more i eat the more i sleep
the deeper my roots grow into this tree.....
these things run deep while i just sleep ,
deaf and dumb to the noise of the day,
just wishing they would go away...
and further still into the core the roots start opening ,
the vents do pour ,
slipping softly anguish within
begins to surface with a nasty grin,
terrors childish born of few ,
slaps me sideways til i give in,
one hit one crime one man alone ,
a time for living seasons past
the cold sharp chill of winters last breath creeps down my spine ,
and the twinging suicide of my mind begins to recede
and old and grey with furrowed brow and sunken cheek
my life about to be done in
awake to find myself alive ,
not much left to do but time
and back to my lair my head turns now ,
a gilded prison of time and sin
slip inside the long dark mind,
a tale thats born of sin and not much left of the divine,
one dakr night my souls elastic
screaming out i m made of plastic
electric ees wriggling inside ,
catapulting me forward to take whats mine
one step forward and a dash of backwards
all spiced up with pinch of cinnamon
scribbling back and forth on walls ,
recipe is disaster, kind no master,
all diced up , remove my plaster
break the mould of my psychometry
shallow scold me i m not hectic
scold me more and slap my bottom, finger in my ass
i m cumming fortwith
slip inside my mind, see i am unkind, a mask of deception throughout the day , a dark soul throughout the night i scream inside and then i shout and fight..today is a bad day, tomorrow another soulless breath
April 20, 2016
entrance left and stagnant right, shift of foot and time of sleight of hand , misconceptions past , then one foot forward , sidestep backwarks, a little shuffle and wriggle faster.. unearth the worms come spralwing forth from pungent bowls of putrified jello, come sit in the walls, feel the breathe , a little closer once more to defeat , and slipped on rope , will i hit the canvas, not this time i reach for the rail step to my feet , think think and think a lil faster , visions unblurring unclouding , though my head was blown, i d been knocked out , but here i stand on a 6 count sidestep ;left one foot right, two for the burial of this decision that might end in diamonds or in disaster , round we go , the wheels are turning , til it comes full circle back in ignoring all the while til childhood friends have slipped and gone , left us behind or them unknown, coping skill with cement and plaster , a mockery of a life thats yet to become....
March 2, 2016
sitting aalone in the hole unscathed , righteusly self wounded around i gaze , mist filled in a fog filled daze , a mind thats fucked by self and self made, no chance , no hope no leap beyond desire, no homecoming ball no echoeing choir , a heart still the same and a man thats on fire , a clown in the looking glass, a destitute basketcase
December 7, 2015
maybe i should write a blog